Narrow-minded could be an adjective used to describe me. I'd like to think it's just the way I view things and that I have my own ideas of what is and what should be, but I do believe those things aren't as broad as they could be. Kind of funny considering that I grew up overseas and should have a healthy respect for opinions and conclusions that differ from my own. And maybe it is that I am just confident in what I believe, but I can't help but assume I haven't moderated enough.
I do not like the church as an institution. I love the Church as the body of believers. I don't understand what the big deal is about different denominations. To me that's humanizing something that should be comfortable to everyone; its putting restrictions on following Christ and setting up fences to inhibit complete fellowship and worship. I do not agree with the majority of what the various denominations stand for. It seems to me to be man-made and not how I see heaven being. I imagine a world where anyone and everyone can worship God as they feel "led" to, come dressed as they want, lift their hands or not as they choose, sing out loud or simply feel the lyrics of adoration. I see a healthy dose of both hymns and worship songs. I see the focus being on Jesus not on what another church is doing, impressing some far off council, or constantly worrying about numbers in the pews/chairs/cushions on the floor/etc. I see accountability still in place. I see encouragement without condemnation. I see honest, genuine love practiced. I see a pastor who is so filled with a burden for his flock that he is on his knees before their Creator. I see the beauty of God being expressed in every body. I see meetings held out in the open. I see church building becoming a thing of the past. I see the believers acceptance, not mocking others and their different takes on the Bible. I see loving correction being carried out- not a hierarchy of self-righteous individuals who do not take the time to earnestly get to know the individual in error. I see a determined effort to understand one another.
The Word of God has been put into many different translations. From the pulpit, one translation is disparaged while another one is lifted up as the "true Word of God". How can they know? How can one person be so sure that their version is the correct one? Why can we not take the Bible as a whole and learn from it instead of spending our time picking it apart, keeping what we like and throwing away what we don't?
Do I think the body of believers need to meet together? Absolutely. Do I believe one denomination is higher than another? No. Do I think some denominations have serious errors in their theology? Yes. I wish the church was more open. I wish the Word of God was preached without added commentaries to the disparities of a different denomination or translation. I wish we looked to Jesus instead of to our Bible reference books. I wish we all spent more time digging into whatever translation we happen to own and allowing God to work through that. Who knows what we could do then- when we allow God to work through us.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
The Eve of the Day
It is just past ten o'clock. I am a few hours away from my 27th birthday and I confess to being in a bit of turmoil over this. And I'm so out of the habit of writing that it's hard for me to organize my thoughts and put them down; something I don't think I've ever experienced. How humbling. Have you ever sat and simply thought about what you'd envisioned for yourself? I did today. I was playing my guitar (a much appreciated gift from my parents and cousin last year around this time) and I didn't think I'd be where I am. Where I am now is not bad. It's just different. I am the head of a department (albeit a small one, but one is more than none). I am paid enough for me to knock off my bills each month. I drive a distinct car whom I affectionately call "Pookie" and which I'm told fits my personality to a tea. I have the privilege of living with my cousin and our two "kids"- fluffy cats heralded Mia and Fritz and I have my own room complete with yellow comforter and a ridiculous amount of pillows (which thrills me to no end). I am independent. Here is where I'd thought I would be when I dreamed about the future...if you'd care to amuse yourself by reading this far:
Age 5: I thought I'd be living in a castle on a steady diet of peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
Age 10: I thought I'd have my own horse ranch in a place where it never rained and all I had to do was ride every day. Of course, someone else cleaned up after them.
Age 14: I thought I'd be way away from my parents and living in a place where I could turn my music up as loud as I wanted and eat in my own room.
Age 18: I thought I'd be a size 4, touring Europe, and married to a long-haired, bearded rock star who quite obviously adored me.
Age 24: I thought I'd be saved from the evils of Florida and flourishing as a missionary in East Africa, teaching children the benefits of recreational therapy. I thought I'd be making this huge, massive, gargantuan impact on the medical community of Kenya.
What I am now: Not a size four, living away from my parents, eating peanut butter and honey sandwiches as I choose, dreaming about my rock star husband, away from the evil Florida, teaching senior adults about the benefits of recreational therapy, and making an impact in my own, God-gifted, God-allowed way.
It's strange, isn't it? I will confess that I have the nasty habit of focusing on what Jesus hasn't done for me instead of focusing on what He has done. It's ugly and so wretchedly human that I have to resist the urge to smack myself. I would like to tour Europe. I would like a God-fearing man who will love me. I would like to visit Kenya again. I would not want to be a size four (where's the joy in that?). And last, but certainly not least: I would like to be utterly devoted to Jesus out of love and desire to do so, not out of duty.
In this next year, I pray I allow Him to work more in my life. I pray He shows Himself to me in a way I'll never forget. I pray I'm open to that experience. And I thank Him for the blessings He's given me.
Age 5: I thought I'd be living in a castle on a steady diet of peanut butter and honey sandwiches.
Age 10: I thought I'd have my own horse ranch in a place where it never rained and all I had to do was ride every day. Of course, someone else cleaned up after them.
Age 14: I thought I'd be way away from my parents and living in a place where I could turn my music up as loud as I wanted and eat in my own room.
Age 18: I thought I'd be a size 4, touring Europe, and married to a long-haired, bearded rock star who quite obviously adored me.
Age 24: I thought I'd be saved from the evils of Florida and flourishing as a missionary in East Africa, teaching children the benefits of recreational therapy. I thought I'd be making this huge, massive, gargantuan impact on the medical community of Kenya.
What I am now: Not a size four, living away from my parents, eating peanut butter and honey sandwiches as I choose, dreaming about my rock star husband, away from the evil Florida, teaching senior adults about the benefits of recreational therapy, and making an impact in my own, God-gifted, God-allowed way.
It's strange, isn't it? I will confess that I have the nasty habit of focusing on what Jesus hasn't done for me instead of focusing on what He has done. It's ugly and so wretchedly human that I have to resist the urge to smack myself. I would like to tour Europe. I would like a God-fearing man who will love me. I would like to visit Kenya again. I would not want to be a size four (where's the joy in that?). And last, but certainly not least: I would like to be utterly devoted to Jesus out of love and desire to do so, not out of duty.
In this next year, I pray I allow Him to work more in my life. I pray He shows Himself to me in a way I'll never forget. I pray I'm open to that experience. And I thank Him for the blessings He's given me.
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