All my friends and family were there. The whole area shimmered in gold, deep orange, and crimson with a hint of royal blue. There was not a church structure. The body of Christ made up our church. The clapping was thunderous and deafening and I know my mother cried. I wore a white dress because He said I could. It was perfect, in the words of my mother. It covered my feet when I walked, winked in the Son with diamonds, and trailed a bit behind me. There was gold etching along the split skirt and the fabric was so light it looked as if it would float away. The silk rubbed soothingly on my legs…not corsets or underskirts were needed. My song played. And it made me cry. Thousands upon thousands upon thousands lined the aisle. My hair hung free in its natural curl down my back and I could feel it tickling my shoulder blades. It was too bright up front to see Him clearly. The One I’d been waiting for since I drew breath. I had a intricate crown on my head and there were small pearls, diamonds, and white gold vines curling in and around each other. It somehow matched my hair and became a part of my head. My shoes were white satin, with a little heel and jewels I could not name wound their way between my toe and up around my ankle. The aisle I walked down was made of glass, pearls, diamonds, and was trimmed in gold curling vines imbedded with sapphires. I didn’t dare walk down it until my Father took my elbow and smiled encouragingly into my face, urging me forward. I began to feel dirty and unworthy and that same Father took a hold of my head with His two hands, looked me right in my uncertain eyes, and said in a soft, commanding voice that I knew could be heard in the very back of the Church. “You are not welcome here. Depart from my daughter. She is mine and a part of my Family” And I felt loved, cherished, beautiful, and worthy. A fountain of calla lilies, small cream colored and white roses, along with deep green vines fell from my hands to trail down the front of my dress. Their scent was like the first rain along with the comforting smell of the forest and it sent my head to spinning. He had chosen these for me. I noticed my mom and my dad. Their hands were clasped together and my dad had tears streaming down his face. I heard him say that he was proud of me and that he was moved beyond words to share this moment with me. My mom was relieved, I think. I’d made it. This day I had dreamed of was finally here. My loneliness and despair fell like a cloak and I saw it behind me. It lay in a small dull grey heap and crumbled between those precious stones I was walking on. The horrid stench was swept away by the courageous odor of anticipation and joy. My Family trampled the remaining fragments to dust. He was getting closer and closer. The One who had saved me over and over and over and over again. Even when I didn’t want to be saved. Father squeezed that hand that was loped through Him arm and I cried the harder for it. He also knew what it had taken to get to this moment. How I’d failed. How I’d succeeded through Him alone and how much I truly loved His Son, even when I didn’t show it. I heard each whisper, shout, and silent acclamation: “BK, you’re awesome!”, “I love you, Boo”, “You are so loved, Booskies.”, “I knew you’d get here, Blue Skies.”, “Rebeka, you make me smile”, and last, but loudest of all, “I have always loved you with the greatest of love, Rebeka Evelyn.” He had spoken. His voice shook me to my core and I couldn’t believe I was His. There was not a priest or alter. I was being brought to my High Priest who had willingly laid Himself down on the final alter. I saw the gaping holes in His hands, saw the same thing in His feet, but what stopped me in my tracks were His deep brown eyes and His smile. Oh, His smile. It was wide and getting wider. And it was all for me. He couldn’t stop smiling. My Father halted just a few feet in front of Him and He stretched out His left hand towards me. To my utter delight, I did not hesitate. I took it and it was firm, warm, and safe. I felt safe. So safe. He held my face just like my Father had and tenderly wiped at the tears trailing down my cheeks. I could feel His calloused thumb making gentle swipes on both sides. Satisfied, He took both my hands in His and said simply. “I did well on you. You are exquisite, beautiful beyond words. I gave my life for you and I would do it again. I can’t wait to spend eternity with you. You are so worthy of my time and attention. I love you.” I thanked Him for not giving up on me. And so it began and ended.
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